NaNoWriMo and Heartbreak Update

For those of you who are interested in my NaNoWriMo progress, I have an update for you. I “re-discovered” NaNoWriMo and signed up on October 29th. It began on November 1st, so that didn’t leave me a lot of time to create, much less outline a plot. I did what I could do though. First, I thought up the title, then I created my book cover, and finally a brief synopsis. I had all of this accomplished by October 31st. I still have no outline, but I’m sort of winging it and filling that in as I go.

The basic plan was to do some writing on the weekend, but not a ton, because for me that is family time. But I knew Jeff goes to bed early, so I could do some fast writing between when he goes to bed and when I do. Ahh, best laid plans… They sound so good theoretically, but in reality, they don’t always work out the way intended.

Saturday night I got some writing done – about 700 words. It took awhile to get going and really find my storyline. That was ok for me though, because you only have to average 1667 words per day to make it to the goal of 50,000 in 30 days. I knew I could make up the deficit easily enough.

Then Sunday came. Many of you probably already know that while we were all getting ready for church, I discovered my beloved cat Prissy had died during the night. I was, and still am, devastated by this awful discovery. Sunday wasn’t a day for writing, or for church going either, but a day for crying and talking and remembering. I felt a sorrow that was overwhelming.

Since I’ve always had pets, I’ve also always had losses. And it hurts. I’ve never taken the death of a pet well. They have always been like children to me. It was just three months ago that we lost our beloved Ashley (our dog) and I still wasn’t completely healed from that. But there was a big difference between the two losses.

Ashley was really old, and had been in failing health for two years. We made sure she wasn’t suffering, but kept her with us and comfortable for as long as possible. We always made sure to love on her and we had time to prepare. The hurt was enormous, but we got to say goodbye in a better way. We knew the day was coming and expected it. We spent her last hours with her, and took her to the vet when it was time and stayed with her until she was gone. We loved on her, petted her, hugged her and she wasn’t alone when she died.

For Prissy it was different. I was preparing to take her to the vet for a senior screen – just to see how she was doing as she started aging. She appeared to be doing well. I was concerned about her weight, but not overly. I had no idea I would lose her so soon. Now I live with regret. Our last moments together were not spent in love. I was working on the computer, trying to get my story going. Prissy came up to my chair, like she would do periodically, and began meowing – loudly, because she wanted some attention. She wanted to be petted and loved on. But I was trying to focus on my story, so my response was not to simply drop my one hand and pet her as I worked. No, unfortunately, my response was a harsh, “Prissy stop! Go away!” And she did. I went to bed soon after and didn’t see her again until I found her, dead, in the morning.

Oh, how I wish I could take that back. I loved her so much, but in the final moments of her life I didn’t give her the loving she wanted. Now, I believe she knew that I loved her regardless, but it’s not the same. I wish I could have said goodbye to her in a much better way. I wish she hadn’t been alone when she died. I think she just died in her sleep, but still I wish I could have known. No, it wouldn’t have changed the final result, but it would have definitely changed my tone and attitude with her. She was never a bother, but that was the way I treated her the last time I saw her alive. And I’m so, so sorry for that.

Needless to say, the loss of my Prissy really took the wind out of my sails for writing for NaNoWriMo. With much effort, I began again yesterday. It was hard to focus because I miss her so much. And it certainly doesn’t help that she died in the office, laying just to the right of where I sit at the desk and type. I’m trying to get it together though, because I realize life does go on. I still cry, my heart still hurts and the grief is still very real, however, I do believe I will see her again in heaven.

In the meantime, my MC (main character) now has a cat. It’s just one way I can honor my Prissy as I work through this time of grief. I’ll be giving you more NaNoWriMo updates periodically. Thank you to everyone who has expressed interest in my progress, and to everyone who has offered kind words of comfort for my loss. Blessings!

NaNoWriMo Info:
~ Title: A Little Rain Must Fall
~ Book Cover: See Right Sidebar toward the top.
~ Word Count: 4202
~ Synopsis: Morgan Reynolds feels all alone in the world. Young, pregnant and unmarried, she finds herself in an impossible situation. With little hope for the future of the baby she’s carrying, there’s only one solution she can think of. When one mistake leads to an even bigger mistake she wonders, will she ever find the love she wants and the redemption she needs?