Do Not Go Gentle...

About two months ago, I began going to physical therapy three times a week. I’d like to say it’s because of an old sports injury, or a wild freak-accident I’d been in, or better yet, that I’d hurt myself rescuing a helpless kitten escape a burning building. You know, something cool like that, but that wouldn’t be the truth.

Sadly, the truth is much less thrilling than any of that. The truth is that I turned 40 this year. Yep, the big 4 0. It is no longer possible to deny that I am middle-aged. But all in all, that hasn’t bothered me too much. After all, my experience has shown me that each decade of my life is better than the previous one.

With aging maturity though, also comes some unwanted things. Things like aches, pains, strains and cracks. Things like not being as fast, fit or flexible. And the understanding of what itis’s are: arthritis, tendonitis, bursitis. I’m now learning the importance of core conditioning and strength training, not for vanity sake, but for health sake.

Some of this is to be expected after all, because we do have earthly bodies that are already in a state of decay and dying to this life. There is no fountain of youth, magical pill, or expensive surgery that will grant us immortality. Unless we meet our demise early in life (which is always possible), old age will creep upon and overtake us. That is merely biology.

But one day, our bodies will last, and we will be pain and illness free. God has prepared for us an eternal and glorified body, to be dwelled in when this fleshly body wears out. One day the aches will be gone, a distant memory of a time when things weren’t perfect and pure. I love the hope, assurance and comfort I get from the following passage of Scripture:

“For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodiesWhile we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit.” ~ 2 Cor. 5:1-5

Until that time comes, however I intend to do what I can to be, and live, healthy. Simple activities like eating well, stretching, strengthening, and getting enough water and sleep are great ways to put off the inevitability of old age. Yes, it will come, but I'll not just sit back and let it overtake me. I am reminded of one of the few poems that I actually like. I first heard it in high school and it struck a chord with me even then. I hope you enjoy it too.

~~~

Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night
By Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

A Heavy Heart, Again

Once again I come to my computer with a heavy heart. Today I said goodbye to another precious friend and fur-baby. My beloved cat Prissy died sometime while we were sleeping. (Needless to say, we did not go to church.) She was thirteen years old, and I’d had her for eleven years.

I’ve written of Prissy before. How she adopted me at PetSmart. If you’d like to read about that experience you can click here. She’d been abused before and was a very skittish cat. But we were a good fit. She needed to get acquainted in her way and in her time and I understood that. In my opinion, her beauty was beyond compare. She was a long-haired calico and the colors on her coat were stunning. She was a large kitty – about as round as she was tall.

She was a birthday gift to myself when I was a single gal living alone. Shadow followed within weeks after and it was the three of us for a few years. When Jeff and I got married, we became a blended family with us, my two cats and his dog Ashley. (Some of you may remember Ashley died just three months ago – if you’d like to read about that, you can click here.) And for two years it was just the five of us. Then along came two more cats – Salem and Mazzie. All of the family basically got along with a few tiff’s here and there. There was never any doubt though, that I was Prissy’s and she was mine.

Prissy remained rather aloof throughout the years. She kept her distance from the other animals, with the rare exception of Shadow, who had always attempted to get close to her. Once in awhile she’d get playful with him or they would sleep close together, but that was the exception rather than the rule. It has only been in recent years that she has even willingly come close to Jeff, allowing him to pet her. Prissy was never much of a cuddler, but once in awhile, on her terms, she would be a lap cat to me.

A fond memory I have of her, is her desire to groom me. Periodically while I slept, she’d get up by my head and start trying to clean me – till she got too much hair, that is. I know a lot of people would think, eew gross, but not me. I understood she was showing me love in the way that she could. Her own hair was a problem for her too. It was really long and thick, but because she was so fat, she wasn’t able to properly clean herself and if let go too long, it would become matted. So, I did what any loving cat-mom would do – I got her shaved down every eight months or so. She hated, hated, hated that process, but when it was done she was sooo happy, because then she could actually feel me petting her. When it was long and thick, she just didn’t get much out of petting because it didn’t feel like much to her. So after a shave-down (and a few hours of pouting would pass), she would practically stalk me to have me pet her!

Eleven years is a long time to love someone so much. She’s been with me in good times and bad. She brought me much comfort at times when I really needed it. She has given me much laughter and smiles, and now tears.

As I mentioned when we lost Ashley, I’m one of those Christians who believe that our beloved pets will be waiting for us in Heaven. I just don’t think a loving God would give us the capacity to love this much if death was just the end. I believe God loves the animals too and that Heaven will be full of them. My heart hurts so very badly right now, but I believe I will see my Prissy again in Heaven. When we lost Ashley, we bought a memorial stone to put in our yard. It says, “If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again.” That is truly how I feel.

The pain of hurt is acute right now, but the joy of love is even stronger, because I know that in time the pain will lesson, but the love never will. I have many wonderful memories of my Prissy and they bring me comfort and make me smile. She was a wonderful pet, fur-baby, friend and companion for eleven years and I will always hold her in my heart. I know the grieving has just begun and it will lessen in time. For now though, I’ll cling to the memories, look at the pictures and know she is in a better place right now, waiting for me. Thank you for reading this and taking the time to get to know my Prissy just a little bit.

Farewell to Paul

On Friday, September 26th, 2008, Hollywood, all of America and the world, lost a treasured and deeply respected man. Paul Newman was 83 years old, when he succombed to his battle with lung cancer. Normally I don’t write about celebrities, but Paul Newman was anything but a normal celebrity. He was Hollywood royalty, but that in and of itself means little.

In a town where “till death do I part” usually means till I get bored, Paul Newman and his wife Joanne Woodward were married for 50 years. When asked about infidelity, he quipped, “Why go out for hamburger when I’ve got steak at home?” Throughout this long marriage, they both appeared to genuinely love, respect and enjoy each other always. He had 6 children, 3 (1 son who died from an accidental drug overdose and 2 daughters) from his previous marriage and 3 (daughters) with Joanne Woodward.

Paul served in the Navy during WWII. He became a professional race car driver in the 1970’s and actually did well at it. Paul was a political activist and while I personally disagree with his stance on many issues (particularly gay marriage), I wholly appreciate his class and honor in how he represented himself on sharing his beliefs.

Paul was also known for his philanthropy. He was not a celebrity who merely lent his name to draw attention to a cause. He did something about it and he did it big. Philanthropically, he is best known for his Newman’s Own line of food products, which donated all proceeds after taxes to charity. As of early 2006, this amounted to more than 200 million dollars. He is lesser known for co-founding the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp in 1988, which is a summer camp for seriously ill children. One camp has expanded to become several Hole in the Wall Camps in the U.S., Ireland, France and Israel. The camp serves 13,000 children every year, free of charge.

Paul Newman was a prominent American. He was a distinguished actor, a loving and devoted husband and father, a great humanitarian; he loved life and lived his to the fullest. I don’t know his standing with God, but I sincerely hope that he was right with Him. He was truly a class act. And he will be missed.

Paul Newman, January 26, 1925 ~ September 26, 2008

Thank you, Paul, for the good works and the memories.

A Heavy Heart

It is with a very heavy heart that I write this latest blog post. Jeff and I had to have our beloved dog Ashley put down yesterday. For those who know me (us), you know this has caused us excruciating pain. We've always loved our pets like they were 4-legged, furry children. Our hearts are truly broken right now. In my Thankful Thursday post yesterday, I mentioned Ashley, knowing her time was coming soon. What I did not know was that it would be only a few hours later.

I'm so grateful for the time I had with her. She was an amazing dog, full of love and playfulness and life. The vet was amazed she made it 15 years and was as healthy as she was. We miss her deeply and I just can't keep the tears from falling. I know time will ease the pain, but right now the pain is searing. That said, I wouldn't change it, because I know the depth of the pain that I feel right now is in direct relation to the love that was shared. And I wouldn't give that up for anything. I believe she is in heaven now, waiting for us, ball in mouth and tail waving.

Jeff wrote a beautiful tribute to Ashley on his GodLinked blog. If you would like to read what he wrote, just click on A Tribute to Ashley. I know the grieving has just begun and we have a way to go. If you've ever had a pet you've loved this much, you'll undestand. If you haven't, and you don't understand, there's no way to explain it. Thank you for reading this, and if you have a beloved pet (or more than one) be sure to give them lots of hugs and don't forget the treats too!

Life is Fleeting

In the last month, it has again become painfully obvious to me that life is fleeting. This has struck me many times before, but death and destruction have seemed to become more commonplace this month. There have been two horrific natural disasters, a cyclone in Myanmar and an earthquake in China that will have claimed tens of thousands of lives in both countries. In the greater Phoenix area, there have been several auto accidents involving teens, resulting in a few deaths and over fifteen injured. And last night I said goodbye to a friend who went home to be with the Lord a mere five days after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Life is indeed fleeting.

I’ve joined much of the rest of the world in watching the horrendous catastrophe that is playing out in Myanmar and China. These two separate natural disasters came suddenly, without warning. Homes, buildings and businesses are destroyed. Crops are completly wiped out. Entire villages, towns and cities are pulverized. The loss of life is staggering. Sadly, it is not over. As time goes on, lack of medical supplies, food and clean water, and time itself along with the ever-growing cases of disease threaten to kill far more than the disasters themselves. It truly is a calamity of epic proportion. *

Closer to home are the teen driving accidents that have resulted in both death and injury. All of these recent incidents could have been avoided. Speeding, drugs or alcohol and just plain old goofing off have contributed to all of these awful and life altering or life taking mishaps. One of the accidents involved some boys that were my neighbors. There were four boys in the car. Speed was a factor in the single vehicle crash. Only one of the boys was wearing a seatbelt. The sixteen-year-old driver and his fifteen-year-old brother live just three houses away from me. The younger brother died. The older brother was in a coma for a time and is now recovering from his multiple severe head and body injuries. The other two boys were badly hurt as well. Somehow these tragic accidents seem to be all the worse because they were completely avoidable. **

The service we attended last night was to honor the memory of a good man, who barely had time to say goodbye to his family and friends. It was a time to remember and celebrate the life he lived, while reflecting sadly that he left us way to soon. Hearing the great things people said about him, it was evident that his life touched and influenced many others. He was a warm and kind man, faithful, dedicated, hard working and loyal, with a great big smile. It was said, that he was not angry with God for taking him so soon, but rather he saw his death as having purpose and meaning. Though he did not want to leave his family, he knew he was going home to be with the Lord. And that gave him peace. ***

Life is fleeting. None of us know when our time here on this earth will be finished. So if we don’t know when our life will end, shouldn’t we try to live each day as though it were our last? We should tell those we love that we love them. We should try to mend damaged relationships. We should hug those we care for. We should notice the beauty around us. We should laugh. And cry. And forgive. The list could go on and on, but I think it simply comes down to this; we should really live our lives. Jeff and I once taught a class at church, and we had people write down what they wanted to be said about them at their eulogy. Then we told them to look at it and live that way, on purpose.

There’s a lot we should do to be prepared for when death finds us. The most important of which is to be ready to meet our Lord. He loves us and will meet us wherever we are, but we have to come to him and ask him to forgive us before death takes away that chance. I’ve heard a saying before, that there are no atheists in foxholes. Since most of us will never find ourselves in a foxhole, we shouldn’t let another moment pass us by without making things right with God. Whenever it is that our life here is done, we have the opportunity to spend eternity with Jesus in heaven, if we take it. Yes, life is fleeting, but eternity lasts forever. How, or where, we spend it is up to us.


* “Moreover, no man knows when his hour will come: As fish are caught in a cruel net, or birds are taken in a snare, so men are trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them.” ~ Ecc. 9:12

** “Death has climbed in through our windows and has entered our fortresses; it has cut off the children from the streets and the young men from the public squares.” ~ Jer. 9:21

*** “So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. For we live by believing and not by seeing. Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him. For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.” ~ 2 Cor. 5:6-10