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Sunday, November 2

A Heavy Heart, Again



Once again I come to my computer with a heavy heart. Today I said goodbye to another precious friend and fur-baby. My beloved cat Prissy died sometime while we were sleeping. (Needless to say, we did not go to church.) She was thirteen years old, and I’d had her for eleven years.

I’ve written of Prissy before. How she adopted me at PetSmart. If you’d like to read about that experience you can click here. She’d been abused before and was a very skittish cat. But we were a good fit. She needed to get acquainted in her way and in her time and I understood that. In my opinion, her beauty was beyond compare. She was a long-haired calico and the colors on her coat were stunning. She was a large kitty – about as round as she was tall.

She was a birthday gift to myself when I was a single gal living alone. Shadow followed within weeks after and it was the three of us for a few years. When Jeff and I got married, we became a blended family with us, my two cats and his dog Ashley. (Some of you may remember Ashley died just three months ago – if you’d like to read about that, you can click here.) And for two years it was just the five of us. Then along came two more cats – Salem and Mazzie. All of the family basically got along with a few tiff’s here and there. There was never any doubt though, that I was Prissy’s and she was mine.

Prissy remained rather aloof throughout the years. She kept her distance from the other animals, with the rare exception of Shadow, who had always attempted to get close to her. Once in awhile she’d get playful with him or they would sleep close together, but that was the exception rather than the rule. It has only been in recent years that she has even willingly come close to Jeff, allowing him to pet her. Prissy was never much of a cuddler, but once in awhile, on her terms, she would be a lap cat to me.

A fond memory I have of her, is her desire to groom me. Periodically while I slept, she’d get up by my head and start trying to clean me – till she got too much hair, that is. I know a lot of people would think, eew gross, but not me. I understood she was showing me love in the way that she could. Her own hair was a problem for her too. It was really long and thick, but because she was so fat, she wasn’t able to properly clean herself and if let go too long, it would become matted. So, I did what any loving cat-mom would do – I got her shaved down every eight months or so. She hated, hated, hated that process, but when it was done she was sooo happy, because then she could actually feel me petting her. When it was long and thick, she just didn’t get much out of petting because it didn’t feel like much to her. So after a shave-down (and a few hours of pouting would pass), she would practically stalk me to have me pet her!

Eleven years is a long time to love someone so much. She’s been with me in good times and bad. She brought me much comfort at times when I really needed it. She has given me much laughter and smiles, and now tears.

As I mentioned when we lost Ashley, I’m one of those Christians who believe that our beloved pets will be waiting for us in Heaven. I just don’t think a loving God would give us the capacity to love this much if death was just the end. I believe God loves the animals too and that Heaven will be full of them. My heart hurts so very badly right now, but I believe I will see my Prissy again in Heaven. When we lost Ashley, we bought a memorial stone to put in our yard. It says, “If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again.” That is truly how I feel.

The pain of hurt is acute right now, but the joy of love is even stronger, because I know that in time the pain will lesson, but the love never will. I have many wonderful memories of my Prissy and they bring me comfort and make me smile. She was a wonderful pet, fur-baby, friend and companion for eleven years and I will always hold her in my heart. I know the grieving has just begun and it will lessen in time. For now though, I’ll cling to the memories, look at the pictures and know she is in a better place right now, waiting for me. Thank you for reading this and taking the time to get to know my Prissy just a little bit.

13 comments:

Terri Tiffany said...

I came over to see how you were working on your novel and saw this--I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a cat a few years ago that we had almost as long and I still miss her. A pet takes up a special place in our heart and when they are gone-- we grieve like we do a person. Again--I am sorry for your heartache today.

valerie lynn said...

Oh my friend, I weep for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend. I know all to well how much it hurts to lose a pet whom you have loved like a child. It tears your heart out to lose such a faithful friend. God bless and keep and comfort you my friend.

Chely said...

I am so sorry, Tracy. My heart breaks for you...I'll be praying for your heart to heal.

Barbara said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your profound loss. My family and I have had to say good-bye to many of our furry friends and it never gets easier. It always hurts.

I'm struggling now with having to put down a beloved elder dog. She has been such a good girl and friend, but life for her is very hard. It is just so hard to let her go.

I, too, believe they will be with us in Heaven.

Blessings.

Nancie said...

Thank you for sharing your heart with us. This is truly a wonderful tribute to Prissy. She is such a sweetie. My heart goes out to you in your loss. Grieve is a normal process in time of loss. But I too believe that as time goes by the pain will lessen but the love never will. May God continue to comfort you and fill your heart with loving memories. Take care and God bless!

Darlene said...

Sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Sweet Blessings,
Darlene

Nitewrit said...

Tracy,

My sympathy for your loss. And also bless you for your kindnesses to the creatures needing loving homes. As a family connected to animal shelters, adoption is always appreciated. (My wife used to work for the Humane Society. My one daughter currently does work for the Humane Society as a VetTech and has for nearly a decade. My oldest daughter had worked for the Humane and currently works for the SPCA here as a VetTech. Both these shelters in our state have become no-kill.)

We have had a number of adopted cats. One was kelly, who looked very much like your Prissy, except she was slightly deformed as a result of abuse she had suffered before being rescued by the shelter and our adopting her.

I have had you linked onto my own Blog for awhile (Night Writing in the Morning Light) and when I saw this new posting I wanted to express my sadness at this passing all we animal lovers go through so often and to tell you how wonderful your kindness was. The Lord has made all these creatures and in the very beginning charged us with their well being. I would not be surprised to see a lot of familiar furry faces in Heaven because our pets bring so much of Heaven into our earthly lives.

Larry

Lori said...

Tracy, I am really sorry for your loss, Prissy sounds like she was the sweetest cat. My cat, Macy, is going to be thirteen in a few months, and I understand you when you say that she has been with you through the good and bad times.

Our pets have their own personalities, and they love with the most unconditional love. They're our friends and our companions, and are part of our family. When we lose them, it's like losing one of the members of our family. Again, so sorry for the loss of Prissy, and praying God heals the heartache. God bless you!

Lily said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Pets add so much to our lives-- such love in a furry package. (((hugs))) to you.

btw, I've chosen you to be tagged! Please go to my latest blogpost for details!

The Surrendered Scribe said...

Tracy,
I'm so sorry for you. There is no doubt Prissy's time with you was full of love.

I agree with you,if the lion and the lamb are to lie together, I'm thinking all my furry friends will be there too.

My sympathies and prayers.

Tamela's Place said...

i truly believe that we will see our precious pets again also and that they are waiting for us in heaven :)

Tracey said...

Awww. Sorry to hear of your loss. It's never easy to lose a good friend that has been with you for so long.

Josh said...

Wow. What can I say? Probably nothing that would be comforting to you. However, my heart does go out to you, and I am so sorry to hear about another loss. I too believe that our animals are in Heaven waiting for us. I can't wait to see mine, and I know you too will be excited to see yours. Praying for you, friend.