To Tremble

But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God – all because of what our Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in making us friends of God. ~ Rom. 5:8,11


I am so grateful for God’s goodness and mercy. I am so thankful that He loves me, forgives me and accepts me, that I can call Him both Father and Friend. I read His Word, talk with Him, and make a joyful noise to Him. In addition to Father and Friend, He is my God, my Healer, my Creator, my Reedemer, and my Provider. In fact, He is everything I need.


Knowing God in so many ways, it is easy to be comfortable around Him. To be just me. I know Him so well, as a loving Father, full of mercy and grace, meeting me wherever I am and accepting me with whatever I have to bring Him. This is comfortable and comforting. It’s safe.


Sometimes though, too often really, I forget another part of Him. I sometimes forget that He is Holy. I sometimes forget that I could not stand in His presence, because His Holiness would drop me and my un-holiness like a rock. I forget that He is the Righteous Judge and that my “good works” are as filthy rags to Him. Sometimes I’m so comfortable with boldly coming to the throne of grace that I forget to tremble in His presence.


My God is a Holy God, Mighty and Righteous, the Source of all power, He is the Beginning and the End. Yes, it’s good for me to know Him as my Daddy and come to Him as His child. But it is also important that I know Him as Holy, and that I should display humility when I approach Him, and that sometimes, I should not forget to tremble.


Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come. ~ Rev. 4:8


Years ago, I heard a song by Nichole Nordeman that was called simply Tremble. It was on her This Mystery CD. I don’t think it was ever released as a single, but can’t remember for sure. This amazing song always reminds me of Who He is, and that yes, I should remember to bow before Him and tremble. I’ve included both the lyrics and the video below. I hope you enjoy them.

Link to video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6R5x-AQYKqQ



Have I come too casually?
Because it seems to me
There's something I've neglected

How does one approach a Deity
with informality
And still protect the Sacred?

'Cause you came and chose to wear the skin of all of us
And it's easy to forget You left a throne

And the line gets blurry all the time
Between daily and Divine
And it's hard to know the difference

CHORUS:
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me not,
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

What a shame to think that I'd appear
Even slightly cavalier
In the matter of salvation

Do I claim this gift You freely gave
As if it were mine to take
With such little hesitation?

'Cause you came and stood among the very least of us
And it's easy to forget you left a throne

CHORUS:
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me not,
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

The cradle of the grave could not contain Your Divinity
Neither can I oversimplify this love

Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me not
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

My Great Epiphany!

Ok, so I mentioned on my Facebook page the other day, that I had an epiphany, but didn’t elaborate at the time. I guess people really do read all those blurbs, because I’ve had several people mention it since, both in person and through e-communication. So, I’ve decided to go ahead and divulge this great “Ah-ha” moment that I had.


Many of you know from reading this blog over the last year that I didn’t come from a close or healthy family. I’ve divulged much of my testimony in various posts throughout the year. But for those of you who may not know, I grew up in poverty and a single-mom household that was dysfunctional. My mother has a lot of . . . issues. Depression, hopelessness and a victim-mentality rule her life. I experienced hunger and humiliation, emotional and sexual abuse, and neglect. My growing up years were based on survival and as such, I was fiercely independent and headstrong. In many ways, I was more like the parent of the household, for myself, my little brother and my mother.


Obviously we are not a close-knit family. Even to this day we are not close. I try to honor my mother as best as I can, but her choice has been to remain distant from my life. I love her, and I pray for her, but I have strong and healthy boundaries, and will not allow myself to get sucked into the drama and dysfunction that I once knew. And I feel good about my life and know that God is ok with it too. What remains is in His hands. My mother gives what she can, which is very little, but now I can accept that, and further I'm happy for that.


The summer before my senior year, I signed up for the Air Force in delayed enlistment. Within two weeks of my graduation, I was off to basic training. I was thrilled and excited and full of fear too! When I left, I said a quick goodbye, with a quicker hug, to my mother and turned to face my new life. Then I noticed something. Others, guys and gals, who were making the same journey, were holding onto their families tightly and crying. I was shocked and confused by this. I just didn’t get it. It never occurred to me to cry, that this might be a sad or lonely thing. As far as I was concerned, it was an exciting new adventure and I was free!


Through the years since, I’ve seen this type of thing many times. I’ve seen tears at saying goodbye to and missing family, a longing to be together, through the good and the bad, talking to parents and siblings often on the phone, and getting together for holidays and even just because. I came to realize that that was “normal,” and I was not. I still didn’t get it, and I didn’t understand it, but I accepted it. My normal was independence, distance and friends – not family. In fact, I held tight to my belief in family by choice, not by chance, meaning my friends and pets were my family, not those I was blood related to.


Fast forward to now and my recent epiphany. We were watching The Biggest Loser the other night and the remaining contestants all got to go home for the week. It was touching and emotional and just… nice. When it was time for them to go back to the ranch though, it was so clear how hard this was for many people – especially the moms who had to say goodbye to their children. I was incredibly moved by these scenes.


I began thinking about how would I handle a separation like that from my beloved husband and precious daughter? Just thinking about it made me cry. Literally. And that was it! That was my great epiphany! I realized then that I had made it to “normal.” All of a sudden, I got it. And I realized once again, the amazing faithfulness of God. He took my deepest longing to have a family that I loved fiercely and enjoyed too, and He gave it to me! I realized that He gave me an Eph. 3:20 family, that He gave me beauty for ashes, and He restored all that the locust had stolen. And I was, and am, so very grateful! Thank you, Jesus!


“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” ~ Ephesians 3:20

Cracked Heels

As I was walking through my home today I felt a pain in my heel. Not a sharp pain or a serious pain, but a familiar pain. I've had this pain before. Immediately I knew what it was. A quick look confirmed it. I had a dry, deeply cracked heel. At once I started chastising myself for going so long without a pedicure. But I'm a new mom, I reasoned, I have other more important priorities right now. True enough, but honestly I've been intending to give myself a mini-pedi for a couple of weeks now. Somehow I just never got to it. So tonight, after getting my wee one down for the night I began. As I sat there soaking my feet in the warm, soapy water, I couldn't imagine what would actually keep me from doing something as nice as this little personal care act. Actually, I knew what it was - neglect and procrastination.

I began pondering this thought and I saw that this little incident of a cracked heel could really be a metaphor for so many other things in life. In what other ways can neglect and procrastination become cracks that hurt us? In relationships? Certainly. In responsibilities? Absolutely. In not being the best us that we can be? Without a doubt.

If I neglect my husband or my daughter, our relationship would definitely suffer. It would cause pain and anger and we could become just another statistic. It would be a sad situation all the way around, and that is not okay. If I neglect my relationship with God, it would be flat and one-sided. He will always love me and be there for me, but I would be detached, I would suffer. That is not okay. If I neglect my 86 year old grandmother, whom I love very much, and procrastinate the long drive to go see her, I may not see her again. And that is not okay.

If I neglect my responsibilities, others will find me to be irresponsible, untrustworthy and lazy. And that is not okay. If I neglect myself (heels included), I will live a life that is substandard, I will cause myself pain. And that is not okay. It is imperative that I choose to love and take care of myself, eat well, always continue to learn and grow, and to be the absolute best me that I can be.

Life happens, it's true. But life is going to happen with or without our participation. It is up to us to choose whether or not we are going to be active participants. It is up to us to determine if we live a life filled with neglect and procrastination or care and action.

"See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." ~ Deut. 30:15,19

(C) 2008 Tracy Keck