Our Deepest Fear

I first saw this amazing poem, in the equally amazing movie, Akeelah and the Bee. Some time ago, a blogging friend, Valerie from Simply4Him put it on her blog. Today, I was reminded of it, and wanted to add it to my own blog as well. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. It really is powerful!

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Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine,
we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

You Made Me Lord ~ Psalm 139, Part 3

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! ~ Psalm 139:13-18


Oh, what comfort these verses have brought and continue to bring me. Though I had heard the expression “God don’t make junk” before, I didn’t truly get it, until I read these verses. Then again. And again. I read them over, and over, and over, letting them take root deep inside my heart. I needed them – desperately.


People who’ve grown up in abuse, poverty and dysfunction often struggle with feelings of inferiority. Self-worth is frequently associated with performance. There is often a feeling of not fitting in or measuring up. That’s how it was with me. Often through the years, my pain, anger, loneliness and oppression really got to me. I sometimes thought I was unlovable, to myself, to others, and to God. I didn’t think I was a bad person per se; it was more like I just didn’t matter. I wandered through life, determined to do and be better than my family. I worked hard and was pretty well liked, eventually, popular even. But all of that was superficial. Inside I was eaten up by insecurity and unworthiness.


I always was aware of God, always knew Jesus, but I never committed my life to Him. It wasn’t because I wasn’t interested. I just couldn’t find Him. I tried out various churches through the years, but never felt anything. Finally, when I was 30, I walked into the church that changed my life. God had been wooing me and I was primed. I was ready. I was tired of searching, I now wanted to find.


And find Him I did! God radically changed my life and more importantly, how I saw and valued myself. I realized I was beautiful, enjoyable, and purposeful simply because He made me that way. I had worth and value, because He created me, not because of where I came from or what I’d accomplished. The wonderful and amazing God of the universe, created me, thought about me, loved me, had a purpose for me.


It is truly astounding to me, that He has written all the days of my life in His book. That He has a very specific and unique purpose for me, one that only I can fulfill. He created me; giving me the looks and personality He wanted me to have to fulfill that purpose. I have learned that when I criticize myself, I am actually criticizing the work of God’s hands. That’s not to say I can’t or shouldn’t better myself, but rather I’m kinder to myself as I go about it. I may mess up from time to time, but God is still there. He still watches over me and thinks of me. He still loves me.


I now know that no matter what happens in my life, I am not alone. I am not unwanted or unloved. The following song was instrumental in preparing me to receive Jesus as my Savior. God led me to it a few months before I was saved. I played it nearly non-stop. I love it still. I hope you enjoy it too.

Reading, Writing and Life

I love to read. That’s probably a no-brainer, because I also love to write. But I really do love to read. I always have. I love even the smell of old books. Reading has been a passion of mine all my life. Growing up, I was known as a bookworm and reading geek. I could get through anything (even grade school) as long as I could read. At that point in my life, nothing was more important to me than a good book – even food! In a good book, I could escape my life and have adventures, romance, fun, mystery and thrill. If I didn’t like the book, I could easily stop and move on to one that suited me more.

When I was growing up life wasn’t easy for me, so my books were my friends. I couldn’t even begin to guess how many books I read. Of course, some of them were favorites over the others and I loved to read series’. The series that was probably my all-time favorite is the Little House collection. Another favorite was the Anne of Green Gables collection. And of course there was the Trixie Belden mystery book collection. As far as books that weren’t in a series, again I had some favorites – Little Women, Where the Red Fern Grows, The Outsiders and Ice Castles. These were all great books that touched me deeply. I’ve read all of these individual books and the series’ multiple times. Some of them I still do.

My reading has changed and matured though. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy a good fictional novel. However, I now read more non-fiction. If you were to take a look at my personal library, you’d find plenty of fiction (because they’re enjoyable), but you’d also find business and reference books (because I want to learn), biographies (because people really are interesting), political books (because I’m a passionate patriot), Christian Living books (because I want to grow) and most importantly, several different translations of the Bible (because I want to know God more and be more like Him).

In addition to all the books that I continue to read, I also read a ton of stuff on the internet. There really is a lot of good stuff out there. From online articles, to writing and reading groups, to blogs, the options for reading are in abundance. The thing about the internet though, is that you have to get through a lot of garbage to find quality content, but it is out there.

Now I’ve joined the fray. I have gone public with my writing in the vast expanse of the internet. I know that God has led me to begin this journey, but I don’t know where it will end, or what I’ll encounter on the way. I’m fairly certain it won’t be in a straight line, which is the shortest distance between two points, but rather it will be more like the long and winding road. It is my desire to contribute to the good content that’s out there and I’m fairly certain it is. I say that not with confidence in myself, but with confidence in my God.

There is much about this new journey that I don’t have the answers to, but I do know that God is in it, and He has a purpose and a plan for it. It seems like that is really not all that different than life itself. We often have more questions than answers in our life journey and don’t really know where we are going. Sometimes we think we know, but end up in a detour or a dead end. But God has a plan and a purpose for all of us. We may stumble, fall, get off track or find ourselves going around the same mountain again and again, but God will always be there to pick us up and help us get back on track.

So I will continue going about my life, seeking God and following where He leads. I will continue to read because I cannot imagine my life without reading being a huge part of it. The cool thing about reading now though, is that it’s not looked down upon. In fact, it is encouraged and as the old saying goes, “Leaders are readers.” And I will continue to write, hoping and praying that God will continue to speak through me and in turn, my writing will touch others. And who knows, maybe one day I’ll be the one who is writing a really good book!

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” ~ Proverbs 16:3

(C) 2008 Tracy Keck