God is God and I Am Not

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible. Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that for God. For it is written, “I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it,” says the Lord. Don’t let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good deeds. ~ Rom. 12:17-19, 21


Yesterday morning, during my God time, these were the verses that jumped out at me. I finished reading, and literally said out loud, “Blah, blah, blah.” Yesterday was not an easy day for my husband and I. We were put in the position of having to deal with consequences that came from trusting someone we shouldn’t have, who subsequently betrayed and hurt us deeply.


Even though I’d forgiven this person, and turned them over to God, I didn’t want to read the above verses. I wasn’t in the mood. I knew what we’d soon be facing, and my stomach was churning. Nevertheless, I prayed and I asked God for His mercy, grace and favor, to get us through the day.


Not long after that, when we were in the midst of our “stuff,” we abruptly and unexpectedly came face to face with this person. To the best of our knowledge, this person was not going to be there, and was in fact there for a different reason. We were stunned. There was our enemy, the one who’d so casually betrayed and hurt us, the one we’d hoped we’d never see again. The one we certainly didn’t expect to see on this day.


As I sat there, feeling as if we’d been sucker-punched, I was questioning God, why? Why are we face to face with our enemy? I mean, God is the God of the Universe! He is the Lord God Almighty! He is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent! He could have done something, right? Well, He did. He reminded me of these Scripture verses I’d read just that morning. He’d spoken to me through His Word, and reminded me that He was in control, and that even if I didn’t see what was happening, this was in His hands.


Phew! I gained some peace by this and hope that though this situation was excruciating, it wasn’t the end, and that if we remain honorable, God would use it for good in our lives. I believe that. I also believe that God is good, and He can be trusted, with my life, with my heart and with my hurt. Sometimes I just need to remember that God is God and I am not. And I am so grateful that He loves me enough to teach, guide and correct me through His Word and through other sources. I am so grateful that He loves me enough to accept me where I am, but He loves me too much to let me stay there.


My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. ~ Prov. 3:11-12

You Lead Me Lord ~ Psalm 139, Part 4

"O God, if only you would destroy the wicked! Get out of my life, you murderers! They blaspheme you; your enemies misuse your name. O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you? Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you? Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." ~ Psalm 139:19-24


This is a tough one. Have you ever been hurt by another person before? Betrayed, slandered, mistreated, abused, or violated? Have you ever witnessed injustice, cruelty or prejudice? Have you ever been a victim of circumstance or persecution? Of course you have, you’re human! We all have. We live in a fallen world, overcome by sin, and we’ve all experienced, and caused, by the way, pain.


As Christians we are admonished to forgive. Forgive, forgive, forgive! Jesus said we are to forgive a person who hurts us seventy times seven, meaning as often as we are hurt or offended. We are to forgive if we want to be forgiven.


Forgiveness isn’t natural. It isn’t what we want. What we want is payback, vengeance, justice. We are humans, and we have human emotions and desires. When I read the above verses, I love the raw honesty of the Psalmist. He is being real with his emotions, strong and passionate as they are, as he cries out to God for intervention.


No, forgiveness isn’t natural. But it is necessary. It is necessary for our own sakes. When we hold onto the offenses that are done to us, we become steeped in anger, and that anger turns to bitterness, animosity, hostility and hate. And those emotions are destructive, not to the person who hurt or offended us, but to ourselves.


If we choose to forgive our enemies, we free ourselves from an ugly and dark self-imposed prison and we free God to act on our behalf. He will vindicate us. God is the judge, and He’s got our backs! It says in Romans 12:19, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”


Offering forgiveness doesn’t simply mean the offender is getting off without penalty though. Simply put, actions have consequences. One way or another. Forgiveness can be instantaneous, but I think (in my case anyway) that’s more the exception than the rule. We have very real and strong emotions that we experience when we are harmed. That’s natural. And we often have to allow ourselves to experience them before we are able to choose to let go, heal and forgive.


When we make that choice, it doesn’t necessarily make all of our feelings go away, but rather it allows God to come in and begin to do His work in helping us to heal. His healing further allows us to let go and move forward. It is then that we are able to follow His lead and live the life He desires for us to have.


And it is only after that, after we’ve allowed God to show us the dark places in our hearts and heal us, that we are truly able to follow His path, ascend His hill and stand in His holy place.


“Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD? Or who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.” ~ Psalm 24:3-5

You Made Me Lord ~ Psalm 139, Part 3

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! ~ Psalm 139:13-18


Oh, what comfort these verses have brought and continue to bring me. Though I had heard the expression “God don’t make junk” before, I didn’t truly get it, until I read these verses. Then again. And again. I read them over, and over, and over, letting them take root deep inside my heart. I needed them – desperately.


People who’ve grown up in abuse, poverty and dysfunction often struggle with feelings of inferiority. Self-worth is frequently associated with performance. There is often a feeling of not fitting in or measuring up. That’s how it was with me. Often through the years, my pain, anger, loneliness and oppression really got to me. I sometimes thought I was unlovable, to myself, to others, and to God. I didn’t think I was a bad person per se; it was more like I just didn’t matter. I wandered through life, determined to do and be better than my family. I worked hard and was pretty well liked, eventually, popular even. But all of that was superficial. Inside I was eaten up by insecurity and unworthiness.


I always was aware of God, always knew Jesus, but I never committed my life to Him. It wasn’t because I wasn’t interested. I just couldn’t find Him. I tried out various churches through the years, but never felt anything. Finally, when I was 30, I walked into the church that changed my life. God had been wooing me and I was primed. I was ready. I was tired of searching, I now wanted to find.


And find Him I did! God radically changed my life and more importantly, how I saw and valued myself. I realized I was beautiful, enjoyable, and purposeful simply because He made me that way. I had worth and value, because He created me, not because of where I came from or what I’d accomplished. The wonderful and amazing God of the universe, created me, thought about me, loved me, had a purpose for me.


It is truly astounding to me, that He has written all the days of my life in His book. That He has a very specific and unique purpose for me, one that only I can fulfill. He created me; giving me the looks and personality He wanted me to have to fulfill that purpose. I have learned that when I criticize myself, I am actually criticizing the work of God’s hands. That’s not to say I can’t or shouldn’t better myself, but rather I’m kinder to myself as I go about it. I may mess up from time to time, but God is still there. He still watches over me and thinks of me. He still loves me.


I now know that no matter what happens in my life, I am not alone. I am not unwanted or unloved. The following song was instrumental in preparing me to receive Jesus as my Savior. God led me to it a few months before I was saved. I played it nearly non-stop. I love it still. I hope you enjoy it too.

As Far As the East is From the West ~ Word-Filled Wednesday

This is my contribution to the meme Word-Filled Wednesday. For more beautiful pictures with inspiring Scripture, please visit The 160 Acre Woods, home of WFW.


I am so grateful that God, in His most amazing grace, does forgive us and welcome us into the shadow of His wings, when we turn from our sins and humbly come to Him with a repentant heart. Sometimes I think we have a more difficult time forgiving ourselves, but it is important that we do so. If we don’t forgive ourselves when we’ve done something wrong, but God has forgiven us, it’s like we’re elevating our forgiveness above His. In order to have the abundant life and freedom in Christ that He has for us, we must release any unforgiveness we may be holding, whether it is against someone else or ourselves.

Baby Food

Sweet Pea is now seven months old. Since she’s been born, her diet has consisted of milk, then milk mixed with rice cereal, and in the last month we’ve added fruit or vegetable puree. In other words – baby food. That’s to be expected, after all, she is a baby. What has happened and what will continue to happen, is that her digestive system will grow and mature, thus allowing her to advance in what she eats. (The teeth that are now coming in will help too!)

Like any of us, she has things that she likes to eat, and things that she doesn’t like to eat. And she’s gotten good at expressing her likes/dislikes. I’ve discovered that she likes sweet potatoes, carrots are okay, applesauce and bananas are favorites, and green beans – well, green beans not so much. When forced to eat something she dislikes, she gets the most offended look on her face. To avoid them or show her displeasure, she won’t open her mouth, or she’ll open her mouth enough to stick her tongue out, or my own personal favorite, she’ll open her mouth and take it in just long enough to spit them back out again. All over her face, her bib, her chair, and when she’s really good, she gets them all over me!

It’s really quite humorous. I’m trying to learn to be stern, but she’s just so funny! The thing is though, I’m her mom, I’m older, and wiser (don’t laugh!), and I know that she has to eat the green beans. They’re good for her. Sure, they’re not as tasty as the bananas, but they’re just as important.

It’s the same thing with us, and spiritual food. The Bible is chock full of nutrients for the soul and spirit. Every bit of it is essential to us according to 2 Tim. 3:16-17, “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” There is not one bit of it that is wasted or unnecessary. And it’s certainly not junk food!

Just like the food we eat for out bodies, the food in the Bible is varied. Some of it is smooth and sweet and pleasing, and it goes down quite easily; some of it is course and bitter and unpleasant and it can be hard to swallow. For instance, when we hear of God’s love and forgiveness of our sins, we can readily accept that and gratefully receive. However, when we hear judge not lest you be judged and forgive as you have been forgiven, that is usually harder to take, after all we usually feel that way when we’ve been wronged. But when we’ve sinned against God, He could turn His back on us because He’d been wronged. He doesn’t though. If we come to him with a repentant heart, He forgives us again and again and again.

God is our Father and He knows what is good for us. And He’s given it to us. He hasn’t left us alone to figure it out by ourselves. No, He left us His word, the Bible, and He left us a Comforter, His Holy Spirit. When we first come to Him and read the Bible, we digest that which is easy to do so – milk. As we grow and become more mature as His children, the food we digest is heartier – more solid. And eventually we mature enough that we can eat the heartiest – meat. Not only can we digest the meat, it becomes essential to our spiritual well being that we do.

It says in Psalm 34:8, “Taste and see that the Lord is good”. It’s just as important that we fill up on food for our spirit every day, as it is that we fill up on food for our body. Really, it is more important. They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but I think the most important meal of the day is the one that fills us up on God. Let us not stand before God one day and hear, “Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?” ~ 1 Cor. 3:1-3

(C) 2008 Tracy Keck