Mother's Day Loss ~ Update and Poem

Last week I spoke about my latest miscarriage and what I have been experiencing emotionally. On Wednesday, I had the D & C, so now the ordeal is over. I’m now able to move forward and ready to begin healing. The emotions (anger, hurt, frustration) are still there, but not as intense as they were. I am beginning to take comfort from my Father. I have to wonder though, if medical personnel will ever understand there is no comfort by them saying things like “there was something wrong with the fetus, and the body just took over,” or “there’s no reason you can’t try again.” A simple “I’m sorry” is much better than medical justifications.


Mother’s Day is this Sunday and while I’m happy to be a mom to my precious little Sweet Pea, I can’t help but think of the little one’s I’ve lost. I recently found this poem on a site that has a pregnancy loss area. It touched me deeply and occurred to me that it may bring comfort to other women who’ve had miscarriages, so I’ve decided to share it here. I would love to give proper credit for this amazing poem, but don’t know who wrote it.

~~~

To Hallmark, they brag that they have a card for everything.


Dear Mr. Hallmark,

I am writing to you from heaven,
and though it must appear,
A rather strange idea,
I see everything from here.

I just popped in to visit,
your stores to find a card.
A card of love for my mother,
as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought,
every card you could imagine.
Except I could not find a card,
from a child who lives in heaven.

She is still a mother too,
no matter where I reside.
I had to leave, she understands,
but oh the tears she's cried.

I thought that if I wrote you,
that you would come to know,
That though I live in heaven now,
I still love my mother so.

She talks with me, and dreams with me;
we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now,
would you see what you could do?

My mother carries me in her heart,
her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me,
sometimes far into the night.

She plants flowers in my garden,
there my living memory dwells.
She writes to other grieving parents,
trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark,
though I no longer live on earth,
I must find a way,
to remind her of her wondrous worth.

She needs to be honored,
and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.

Thank you Mr. Hallmark,
I know you'll do your best,
I have done all I can do;
to you I'll leave the rest.

Find a way to tell her,
how much she means to me.
Until I can do it for myself,
when she joins me in eternity.

~ Author Unknown

Happy Mother's Day!

My Little Sweet Pea

I don’t do a lot of “Mommy” post, but please, indulge me in this one. My baby is growing up. Sweet Pea is now 14-months old. She can walk, but doesn’t do it much. She no longer looks like a baby at all – she’s now a toddler in looks as well as age. She finally gave up the bottle a couple of weeks ago and is now solely on the sippy-cup.

Of course, all of this is to be expected. As time passes, babies grow, and that’s a good thing. Crawling, then walking, developing as a toddler, I’m so happy to see this all happening as it should be. Still, I miss some of the truly baby stuff, though that doesn’t include middle of the night feedings.

I’m so enjoying her right now. I’m blessed to be able to stay at home with her and I treasure that. She delights me! When I hear her singing her own little songs it warms my heart. I feel an explosion of joy when I hear her laugh. And lately, she’s begun dancing. To see her little tushie shaking and moving to the music just makes me melt!

So this post is for my little Sweet Pea, my precious little baby who is now growing into a very special little girl. I pray that I will always enjoy her, whatever stage she’s in and that God would give me the wisdom to train her up the way He wants me to, to help shape her into wonderful person He has created her to be.

Thank you for indulging me in this “Mommy” post. This morning as I watched her wiggling and jiggling to “The Bunny Song” from Veggie Tales, I was overwhelmed with love and pride and awareness of her growth, so I just had to record it. She is my greatest gift! Blessings to you, and all of your little ones too (even if they’re not so little anymore)!

Baby Food

Sweet Pea is now seven months old. Since she’s been born, her diet has consisted of milk, then milk mixed with rice cereal, and in the last month we’ve added fruit or vegetable puree. In other words – baby food. That’s to be expected, after all, she is a baby. What has happened and what will continue to happen, is that her digestive system will grow and mature, thus allowing her to advance in what she eats. (The teeth that are now coming in will help too!)

Like any of us, she has things that she likes to eat, and things that she doesn’t like to eat. And she’s gotten good at expressing her likes/dislikes. I’ve discovered that she likes sweet potatoes, carrots are okay, applesauce and bananas are favorites, and green beans – well, green beans not so much. When forced to eat something she dislikes, she gets the most offended look on her face. To avoid them or show her displeasure, she won’t open her mouth, or she’ll open her mouth enough to stick her tongue out, or my own personal favorite, she’ll open her mouth and take it in just long enough to spit them back out again. All over her face, her bib, her chair, and when she’s really good, she gets them all over me!

It’s really quite humorous. I’m trying to learn to be stern, but she’s just so funny! The thing is though, I’m her mom, I’m older, and wiser (don’t laugh!), and I know that she has to eat the green beans. They’re good for her. Sure, they’re not as tasty as the bananas, but they’re just as important.

It’s the same thing with us, and spiritual food. The Bible is chock full of nutrients for the soul and spirit. Every bit of it is essential to us according to 2 Tim. 3:16-17, “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” There is not one bit of it that is wasted or unnecessary. And it’s certainly not junk food!

Just like the food we eat for out bodies, the food in the Bible is varied. Some of it is smooth and sweet and pleasing, and it goes down quite easily; some of it is course and bitter and unpleasant and it can be hard to swallow. For instance, when we hear of God’s love and forgiveness of our sins, we can readily accept that and gratefully receive. However, when we hear judge not lest you be judged and forgive as you have been forgiven, that is usually harder to take, after all we usually feel that way when we’ve been wronged. But when we’ve sinned against God, He could turn His back on us because He’d been wronged. He doesn’t though. If we come to him with a repentant heart, He forgives us again and again and again.

God is our Father and He knows what is good for us. And He’s given it to us. He hasn’t left us alone to figure it out by ourselves. No, He left us His word, the Bible, and He left us a Comforter, His Holy Spirit. When we first come to Him and read the Bible, we digest that which is easy to do so – milk. As we grow and become more mature as His children, the food we digest is heartier – more solid. And eventually we mature enough that we can eat the heartiest – meat. Not only can we digest the meat, it becomes essential to our spiritual well being that we do.

It says in Psalm 34:8, “Taste and see that the Lord is good”. It’s just as important that we fill up on food for our spirit every day, as it is that we fill up on food for our body. Really, it is more important. They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but I think the most important meal of the day is the one that fills us up on God. Let us not stand before God one day and hear, “Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?” ~ 1 Cor. 3:1-3

(C) 2008 Tracy Keck