Last week I spoke about my latest miscarriage and what I have been experiencing emotionally. On Wednesday, I had the D & C, so now the ordeal is over. I’m now able to move forward and ready to begin healing. The emotions (anger, hurt, frustration) are still there, but not as intense as they were. I am beginning to take comfort from my Father. I have to wonder though, if medical personnel will ever understand there is no comfort by them saying things like “there was something wrong with the fetus, and the body just took over,” or “there’s no reason you can’t try again.” A simple “I’m sorry” is much better than medical justifications.
Mother’s Day is this Sunday and while I’m happy to be a mom to my precious little Sweet Pea, I can’t help but think of the little one’s I’ve lost. I recently found this poem on a site that has a pregnancy loss area. It touched me deeply and occurred to me that it may bring comfort to other women who’ve had miscarriages, so I’ve decided to share it here. I would love to give proper credit for this amazing poem, but don’t know who wrote it.
To Hallmark, they brag that they have a card for everything.
Dear Mr. Hallmark,
I am writing to you from heaven,
and though it must appear,
A rather strange idea,
I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit,
your stores to find a card.
A card of love for my mother,
as this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake I thought,
every card you could imagine.
Except I could not find a card,
from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too,
no matter where I reside.
I had to leave, she understands,
but oh the tears she's cried.
I thought that if I wrote you,
that you would come to know,
That though I live in heaven now,
I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me;
we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now,
would you see what you could do?
My mother carries me in her heart,
her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me,
sometimes far into the night.
She plants flowers in my garden,
there my living memory dwells.
She writes to other grieving parents,
trying to ease their pain as well.
So you see Mr. Hallmark,
though I no longer live on earth,
I must find a way,
to remind her of her wondrous worth.
She needs to be honored,
and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.
Thank you Mr. Hallmark,
I know you'll do your best,
I have done all I can do;
to you I'll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her,
how much she means to me.
Until I can do it for myself,
when she joins me in eternity.
~ Author Unknown
Happy Mother's Day!
6 hours ago