The Messageboard:

Remember, I have moved my book reviews to their own blog. Tracy's Book Nook is now active.

Friday, May 9

My First 'Real' Mother's Day

Mother's Day has always been difficult for me. My mother suffers from depression and, presumably because of that, she's never shown any interest in my life. With that said, obviously we are not close. Yes, I've prayed for her. Yes, I've forgiven her. Yes, I know she's done the best she can. But all of that doesn't mean that everything is just fine and it doesn't mean she doesn't still have the ability to hurt me. Trust me, Hallmark does not have a card for every occasion.

For years I longed to me a mom and have a family of my own. I sort of comforted myself with the knowledge that I was a 'mom' to my pets, but I wanted a child too. Two years ago, after a year and a half of trying, I got pregnant and then miscarried. It was excruciatingly painful. It happened a month before Mother's Day. After another eight months of trying, I got pregnant again. This time, thank God, the pregnancy went to term and last September, our beautiful baby girl was born. Reagan is the joy of my life and I am SO thankful to have her. Now here we are, right before Mother's Day. I'm excited because this year I'm included - I'm a 'real' mom. But I'm also a bit sad. My unborn child has been on my heart lately. It became important for me to do something to remember and honor the baby I lost.

I recently joined Squidoo and decided to do a page or lens that is dedicated to my little one in heaven. If you would like to know more of my miscarriage story, I would truly be honored to have you check out this lens at

Thanks and God bless you, and if you're a mom (even if it is to a pet) Happy Mother's Day!

"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." ~ Proverbs 31:28-31


Josh said...

I am sorry about your miscarriage, Tracy. However, I see that God did bless you with a lovely child, and I am happy for you to be able to celebrate Mother's Day now as a mother. It's hard to know why God gives and then takes away things at times, but he knows what he is doing. I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow!